Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
