i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
