have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
