You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
All I want is dick and wine.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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