Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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