he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
