I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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