hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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