if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize
