I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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