Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
