So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
