well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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