If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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