i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
