WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
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