Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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