dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
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