Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
