You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
