They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
