My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
