9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
