k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
