I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
