would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
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