Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I just gift wrapped bread.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
