I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
