i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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