is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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