Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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