Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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