So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize