Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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