if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
