So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Banned from zoo.
Again?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
