she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
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