I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
