She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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