She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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