This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
