What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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