Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
