Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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