Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
