I'm lost and stupid without you.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize