her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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