what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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