Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
