so explain again why im purple
no
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Someone came in the potted fern
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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