this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
