New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
