you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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