yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
