Your face is a jimmy john
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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