a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I have post one night stand depression
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
