He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
