Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
