I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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