The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You did what with his pubic hair?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
