Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
